Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize