is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
40s are totally the cure
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
