He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
