brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
