I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
