I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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