So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
