thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
