Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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