He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
