Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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