i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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