Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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