Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
