i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
