That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
