can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
