ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
