And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
