You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
