wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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