There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
