We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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