How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
