update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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