My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
