i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
