How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
