is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
