I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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