Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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