I need help removing her.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
