I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
