If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
