if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
