the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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