the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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