it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
