I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
