I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
