My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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