I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
