Soap is not a condiment
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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