i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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