I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
