They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
