i was born a porn star she said
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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