I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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