Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
