Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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