I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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