the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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