I look better un-naked...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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