i don't like sucking hair
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
