It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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