We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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