it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
