Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
