she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
