it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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