Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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