wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
