I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize